Thursday, May 07, 2009

Everyday Racial Tensions


Karin Arad writes a "relationship" column for the Israeli "Men's Magazine" Blazer, a supplement of the large Israeli daily Yediot Ahronot. She is also (though obviously it is not well known to all her readers) of mixed parentage. Her mother is Arab.

The following appeared in her column on April 29. The translation is mine.

Q: My girlfriend has a very rich sexual past. I am great with this. Bur recently I discovered that she has slept with an Arab; that is she went out with him for a while and they had sex. This a disturbs me. I am not at all a racist, but is it normal that this disturbs me a little?

- Mica


A: Dear Mica,

"Normal" "racist", what nonsense.

Racism is a human tendency. Its okay that you encountered it in yourself, but try to rise above it. Why? Because its neanderthal and disgusting! What, after all, is a racist? Leiberman? Someone that doesn't have a problem killing people that are not the like them? Or generalized xenophobia? Believe me, all of these types are racist and all of these are not normal.

I don't know of any guy in the universe, as tolerant as he might be, who, having learned that his girlfriend has a sexual history in three figures, remains calm; and rightfully so. In a situation like this there is a strong possibility that he will not come out so well by comparison.

And in your specific case the problem is particularly severe. Because rumour has it that Arabs have cocks much bigger than Jews. And if we are already talking frankly, there is a possibility that your girlfriend went out with a member of the Bachri clan, known as "little jack hammers" by the Jewish girls. If so, you are really screwed. Because in addition to their very impressive equipment, they also have been educated at English private schools, have impeccable manners, intelligence, and overpowering good looks: gentlemanly traits not often found around here.

As far as your uncomfortable feelings, relax: You are not alone. Arabs are fashionable, and I would go as far as saying that the Arab is the new Black. Everybody fucks today based on ethnic criteria: in search of the exotic. It is totally acceptable. In fact, most of my good friends have slept with Arabs. I don’t know if it bothered them – or their Polish mothers – because I am the last person they will admit this to. You see, Mica, most of my friends are guys that I have slept with. And the Arabs they have slept with ... well in total, it is more or less ... me. Now, since they are not complete morons, they hide their racism from me. They don’t shout “Ahalan wa-Sahalan” when they see me and ask for Baklawa, they don’t hide tiny Palestine flags in my purse next to my orange ID card, and they don’t joke about Molotov cocktails when we are in bed. They are being very sensitive.

Something that can't be said about you Mica.

Look, I understand that you are really troubled by this; that your friends in Israel Beitenu [Avigdor Lieberman's anti-Arab party. sn] don't answer your phone calls anymore. But shit, where did you get the idea to ask a question like that to the only girl you know whose mother's maiden name is Suliman? [A clearly Arab sounding name. sn] Your stupidity simply cannot be described.

In summary, I hope that this whore that you are sleeping with with gives you gonorrhea.

Amen ... oh sorry, Allahu Akbar.

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